Program Note:

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On Being Measured (2026), commissioned by Hannah Elizabeth Tobias' "For Her" project, grew out of my complicated relationship with my own body.
As women, so many of us grow up learning to measure ourselves constantly by weight, by numbers, by scales, or by how closely we resemble some invisible “ideal.” This piece begins with a metronome and breath. The flute enters repeating a simple figure with subtle variations. It’s intentional and a little obsessive, trying over and over to fit into a mold, adjusting yourself slightly each time, hoping it will finally be right.
The metronome enters and exits throughout the piece. For me, it symbolizes not only measurement, control, and external judgment, but also my personal experience recovering from an eating disorder. Healing is never linear. The habit and urge to measure yourself doesn’t just disappear. It comes back. It interrupts. It tries to take control over and over again. When the metronome returns in the second half of the piece, something changes. Instead of the flute lining up with it, the performer plays freely, refusing to follow its pulse. The metronome is still there, but it no longer dictates the music. This moment reflects a shift of mind - not the sudden disappearance of insecurity, but a growing ability to move forward without letting it define you.
The piece ends with a bold, unaccompanied flute solo. It’s about willpower, reclamation, and choosing to trust your own breath and body. Not because the struggle is over, but because you are no longer shrinking yourself to survive it.
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Duration: 8 minutes

 

Recording: Recording is available upon request. 

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Score and Parts: Available for rental or purchase directly from the composer.

Performance History:

• World Premiere: International Women’s Day Performance, March 8th, 2026 at Community Music Center of Boston.